Lying in an empty room trying to read in order to distract from my overwhelming homesickness that I've never felt before to this degree. Home sickness for my family, my neighbor girls and ever one I known in Boise. Deep sleep soon found me only to end when I awoke in the high rise couch of room 177 listening to the faint rustle of the wind and the once in while bone chilling screams of Liz receiving peroxide for her injury.
I wandered out in a half sleep matter only to find myself captivated by the moon I saw from the second floor landing. I left my stuff and found myself walking. Once to the parking lot I stopped and listened to the chirping of the crickets and the zoom of the passing cars. The stars where not visible because the over powering light of the street lights dimmed them away. But the moon couldn't be dimmed by any man made light.
My feelings of homesickness transformed into a deeper even more intense homesickness for my real home in heaven. I don't belong in this world but I must stay until God says I'm done. I'm sick of the pain and the meaninglessness of the things around me. The distracting worldly things that cause me to stumble. My wretched self that is so hard to train to be pure. Following you is so hard I just want to rest in you without distractions. Sing songs of praise forever what could be more glorious.
I looked at the moon and just desired to be home but I'm here for a reason. Sitting by a tree with my sister Chelsea we watched something I've never seen the moon set, but it is only 12:30 where is it going? Back to reality, back down to this world where I'm struggling to be guided by the Spirit to even be in the Spirit. The days are so long when joy isn't filling your heart.
Now I'm sitting here in my silent room except for the white noise machine and those annoying cars that pass by so late. Sleep soon. I hope I will find myself waking up in heaven but really I'll probably wake up in this world again.
Thank you for the moon. I pray that tomorrow you will fill me with the Spirit, please!
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." - Lam. 3:22-24
"This is the day the LORD has made let us rejoice and be glad in it" - Psalm 118:24
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