Wait! What? I have to trust God?
Until now I've just been "trusting" God really I trust myself and when things work out I say "Praise God" But now I have to trust completely.
Basically I won't get my heart's desires unless I trust him completely. I have no control. I found out this weekend that if I'm going to go to India, I'm going to have to trust God will provide the money. I work but that money is going to pay for my education, another thing that I'm going to have to trust God with! Oh boy! I cried because I was told by my parents that I can't use my own money, but really I was crying because I had to release my control to God. If God provides I go, if not I don't, it's that simple. The agony that my pride is going through!
Monday, October 24, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
God is Real
This week I've been learning that God is Real, what John Meyer has been saying at church is true. Through the many stories of faith God has shared with me, I'm believing more and more.
The reason I write tonight is because of the most recent experience. This evening I went to the Strength Team at Summitview. Normally we go Wednesday nights to babysit at the church but the Strength Team is at the church until Sunday. It is a group of VERY muscular men who do feats of strength but at the same time they share the gospel.
I was a little iffy of what they were to do but that is just part of the story, my lack of faith. Even sitting there I had many doubts. Doubts that this was an effect means of ministry, doubts that this is the right way, doubts that people will hear the gospel, doubts that these guys were really Christians, doubts that this is just another "American Christian" style of event, doubts that God would be mentioned but not the focus, I even began to doubt Summitview's beliefs because they were supporting this. I had such a small about of faith but God is real.
Later into the event my heart changed. The testimonies and what the guys said started to make me think. It was during one of the prayers that God really should me that he was there and that he was real. The lead guy, Mike, asked people during prayer to raise their hands if they wanted him to pray for them. If they were to accept Christ for the first time or just rededicate their lives to him. I was at the same time praying for at least a couple to raise their hands. God specifically put the 2 grandparents sitting behind us on my heart, I didn't know why. After the prayer Mike asked those to come forward if they accepted Christ or recommitted their lives to Christ. It was the alter call. My first time witnessing one and so God became as really as ever that next minute as I watched so many walk to the front. I would say 30 or so. Of course along with the mass were the 2 grandparents sitting behind me. What! Could it be! God is Real!
The reason I write tonight is because of the most recent experience. This evening I went to the Strength Team at Summitview. Normally we go Wednesday nights to babysit at the church but the Strength Team is at the church until Sunday. It is a group of VERY muscular men who do feats of strength but at the same time they share the gospel.
I was a little iffy of what they were to do but that is just part of the story, my lack of faith. Even sitting there I had many doubts. Doubts that this was an effect means of ministry, doubts that this is the right way, doubts that people will hear the gospel, doubts that these guys were really Christians, doubts that this is just another "American Christian" style of event, doubts that God would be mentioned but not the focus, I even began to doubt Summitview's beliefs because they were supporting this. I had such a small about of faith but God is real.
Later into the event my heart changed. The testimonies and what the guys said started to make me think. It was during one of the prayers that God really should me that he was there and that he was real. The lead guy, Mike, asked people during prayer to raise their hands if they wanted him to pray for them. If they were to accept Christ for the first time or just rededicate their lives to him. I was at the same time praying for at least a couple to raise their hands. God specifically put the 2 grandparents sitting behind us on my heart, I didn't know why. After the prayer Mike asked those to come forward if they accepted Christ or recommitted their lives to Christ. It was the alter call. My first time witnessing one and so God became as really as ever that next minute as I watched so many walk to the front. I would say 30 or so. Of course along with the mass were the 2 grandparents sitting behind me. What! Could it be! God is Real!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Walk by Faith and Trust me!
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship - Romans 12:1
Sitting in Matrices class today I knew I had planned to meet with Lesley to share the gospel but I kept thinking of excuses to not go. There was a lot on my mind, my heart wasn't on the lost, I was getting a stomach ache and I just wanted to take a nap but I still made my way to meet her after class. She read me Romans 12. A living sacrifice. God, You want me to sacrifice my time for you. Okay fine, lets walk by faith. After praying and reading 2 Tim 1:7-9 I was ready to go.
At the beginning of the day I knew today wasn't going to be a normal Tuesday, God was going to do something big today.
Entering the plaza we just stood in the middle and closed our eyes hoping for a tug. Testing my faith. About a minute later I hear "Abra". It's Sam Mast. So the three of us chatted. He explained how he didn't understand what he was study, didn't understand how there can be such finite numbers for something we can barely see. We are taught to accept some truths by faith. That's the same with Christianity, walk by faith. We asked him where we should go and he told us the engineering building. I confess I didn't want to go because I was so set on the small area of the plaza and I believed for some reason nobody in the engineering building would be free to listen to us. "Trust me, walk by faith" God said in my ear and so we changed direction and found ourselves talking to a girl. Invited her to church, gave her a bible and prayed she would come to know Jesus as more than just a man.
After praying Lesley suggested the oval and that the next person we talked to we would ask them where to go next, like a scavenger hunt. Upon approaching the oval there appeared to only be surveyors but God shined a light on a figure way up a head. We got closer and discovered it was a young man with bible open and praying. But He came up from his prayer and we shared what we were up to. Joseph was his name. He told us his story of leaving school and going to the house of prayer and than found himself called to come to Colorado and here he was checking out the campus. He eagerly joined us for the next couple hours. 2 conversations later, much time in prayer and listening to what the Lord has been teaching him I had to leave for class. I wanted to share this story with you all because I learned a lot about faith today. And by walking in faith God blessed me with this encouraging brother that might even join us for small group on Thursday.
Looking back I almost chose to take a nap rather than watch God work in amazing ways.
Oh and have you read the Colligian today? There is an article that explains how there can only be one right religion. If you read the opinion section there is often a article that shares truth, really! Praise God that these articles are being printed.
Sitting in Matrices class today I knew I had planned to meet with Lesley to share the gospel but I kept thinking of excuses to not go. There was a lot on my mind, my heart wasn't on the lost, I was getting a stomach ache and I just wanted to take a nap but I still made my way to meet her after class. She read me Romans 12. A living sacrifice. God, You want me to sacrifice my time for you. Okay fine, lets walk by faith. After praying and reading 2 Tim 1:7-9 I was ready to go.
At the beginning of the day I knew today wasn't going to be a normal Tuesday, God was going to do something big today.
Entering the plaza we just stood in the middle and closed our eyes hoping for a tug. Testing my faith. About a minute later I hear "Abra". It's Sam Mast. So the three of us chatted. He explained how he didn't understand what he was study, didn't understand how there can be such finite numbers for something we can barely see. We are taught to accept some truths by faith. That's the same with Christianity, walk by faith. We asked him where we should go and he told us the engineering building. I confess I didn't want to go because I was so set on the small area of the plaza and I believed for some reason nobody in the engineering building would be free to listen to us. "Trust me, walk by faith" God said in my ear and so we changed direction and found ourselves talking to a girl. Invited her to church, gave her a bible and prayed she would come to know Jesus as more than just a man.
After praying Lesley suggested the oval and that the next person we talked to we would ask them where to go next, like a scavenger hunt. Upon approaching the oval there appeared to only be surveyors but God shined a light on a figure way up a head. We got closer and discovered it was a young man with bible open and praying. But He came up from his prayer and we shared what we were up to. Joseph was his name. He told us his story of leaving school and going to the house of prayer and than found himself called to come to Colorado and here he was checking out the campus. He eagerly joined us for the next couple hours. 2 conversations later, much time in prayer and listening to what the Lord has been teaching him I had to leave for class. I wanted to share this story with you all because I learned a lot about faith today. And by walking in faith God blessed me with this encouraging brother that might even join us for small group on Thursday.
Looking back I almost chose to take a nap rather than watch God work in amazing ways.
Oh and have you read the Colligian today? There is an article that explains how there can only be one right religion. If you read the opinion section there is often a article that shares truth, really! Praise God that these articles are being printed.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Give it your all or not at all
When presented with the idea to raise money to provide help for the needy, I feel like I have one of two options. Either Give all or not at all. If I'm going to give $20 why not $100 or even more. Kashmir needs help, they need tents and blankets and supplies and love. I'm told this and than find myself contemlating what do I do. What does God want me to do. Give up what is not important in my life, or are those blessings that I should be thankful for. We are to be content at all times. But I'm not content. Not content to give a little while I live in a life of luxury but I also won't be content if I don't obey God. What does God want? Pray Pray Pray
Friday, October 14, 2005
Missions!
There is something about the word that both excites me and terrifies me. The thrill of traveling and sharing the gospel in a new place. But yet the fear that I'll be persecuted or unprepared. Cast all your anxieties on him. As Jesus looked at the Joy set before him, let us look at the joy set before us! Doing God's will that is our mission. Here is some news that hit me, we are already on the mission field! Called to share his word, keep his praise on our lips, walk in his light, train ourselves in his word, pray always and trust him entirely.
"Missions in other countries aren't for me, that is for somebody else to do, but that's okay because I'll pray for them" These words are my own, If I was asked why I don't want to go to another country for mission work this would have been my answer.
1. How do I know it's not for me?
2. Who is this somebody else? If everybody said this than who would actually go
3. How much do I really pray for other mission trips? really? Don't I often pray for myself, than friends and family, and than whatever big event is happening, and than ... How often do I pray for the world? And when I do, how often are they small prayers and mostly only when something big happens? If I'm going to use pray as an excuse than I need to really pray.
Here is a thought that struck me last night. What if we switiched everything, flipped it all around. What if we saw the states as just another country! Imagine if you were in Pakistan right now, or wherever. Imagine you lived there all your life and somebody asked you to go on a mission trip to the US. Would you go? and if so why? Is it the worldly luxuries, the comforts, the lack of persecution, the chance to live a "good" christian life and not to be living day by day trusting God for every need.
"Some do have to stay in the US" Okay. But what makes you think that is where God wants you? Rather than waiting for the call to go on a mission trip how about we wait on a call to stay. If God wants you to stay than he'll stop you from going. For me I'm planning to go. I don't know yet where but out of here.
Here is another thought. America has heard the gospel. Wouldn't it be a big testimony if we left to go on a mission trip, leaving behind the comforts of the states. Trully living for God that is my desire.
The end of my ramblings, But if you really want to know what God has in store for your life ask him and read his word.
This verse grabbed me:
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15
"Missions in other countries aren't for me, that is for somebody else to do, but that's okay because I'll pray for them" These words are my own, If I was asked why I don't want to go to another country for mission work this would have been my answer.
1. How do I know it's not for me?
2. Who is this somebody else? If everybody said this than who would actually go
3. How much do I really pray for other mission trips? really? Don't I often pray for myself, than friends and family, and than whatever big event is happening, and than ... How often do I pray for the world? And when I do, how often are they small prayers and mostly only when something big happens? If I'm going to use pray as an excuse than I need to really pray.
Here is a thought that struck me last night. What if we switiched everything, flipped it all around. What if we saw the states as just another country! Imagine if you were in Pakistan right now, or wherever. Imagine you lived there all your life and somebody asked you to go on a mission trip to the US. Would you go? and if so why? Is it the worldly luxuries, the comforts, the lack of persecution, the chance to live a "good" christian life and not to be living day by day trusting God for every need.
"Some do have to stay in the US" Okay. But what makes you think that is where God wants you? Rather than waiting for the call to go on a mission trip how about we wait on a call to stay. If God wants you to stay than he'll stop you from going. For me I'm planning to go. I don't know yet where but out of here.
Here is another thought. America has heard the gospel. Wouldn't it be a big testimony if we left to go on a mission trip, leaving behind the comforts of the states. Trully living for God that is my desire.
The end of my ramblings, But if you really want to know what God has in store for your life ask him and read his word.
This verse grabbed me:
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Lost in a sea of faces
Walking through the plaza on my way to class this song played on the radio. It clicked with the feeling that I was experiencing that moment in time. I have felt feelings of not fitting in before, all of my life actually. One reason to leave Idaho was to start over hoping that I would fit in some where. Well I still don't fit in but this time for a better reason, because I don't belong in this world. As I sit in class I realize how temporarily my time on earth is, it makes it hard to go to class cause I just want to live and explore what the Lord has made. I than walk through the plaza passing many that I don't know and don't know me. The strange feeling that everybody else knows something I don't or are being guided by something different than me. Like a leaf falling off a tree I wonder if they would even notice my frail body lying under their feet. But I'm not a leaf that gets torn up by this world, withered by time. I'm that leaf that caused me to bend down and grab a hold of. God chose me out of a million faces. Jesus died just so that I wouldn't be lost in the sea of faces, in the piles of leaves. Praise his Name!
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name." - Hebrews 13:15
"Sea Of Faces" - Kutless
I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care
And in Your eyes I can see
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine
Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love
And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine
If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason
To willingly offer your life
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine
Just one in a million faces
***A gift for those who read to the bottom***
I also learned the sign for respect and the sign for honor and the sign for hero. All look up to the skies, to the heavens, to my God. Whom I desire to respect and honor and always look to as my hero. "A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life" Is not Jesus the best example of a hero?
"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name." - Hebrews 13:15
"Sea Of Faces" - Kutless
I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care
And in Your eyes I can see
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine
Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love
And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine
If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason
To willingly offer your life
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine
Just one in a million faces
***A gift for those who read to the bottom***
I also learned the sign for respect and the sign for honor and the sign for hero. All look up to the skies, to the heavens, to my God. Whom I desire to respect and honor and always look to as my hero. "A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life" Is not Jesus the best example of a hero?
Monday, October 10, 2005
With a Song I Greeted the Day
I awoke this morning with this song on my lips and there it stayed through the day. God will be with me through all times and I will never be separated from him. He is my heart's desire and he is above all else.
"As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
Chorus
You alone are my strength, my shield
To you alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
You're my friend and you are my brother
Even though you are a king
I love you more than any other
So much more than anything
Chorus
I want you more than gold or silver
Only you can satisfy
You alone are the real joy giver
And the apple of my eye
Chorus"
"As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
Chorus
You alone are my strength, my shield
To you alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee
You're my friend and you are my brother
Even though you are a king
I love you more than any other
So much more than anything
Chorus
I want you more than gold or silver
Only you can satisfy
You alone are the real joy giver
And the apple of my eye
Chorus"
Friday, October 07, 2005
What if?
What if we all walked by the same beat?
Different paces, different paths
But the same beat
Different voices, different songs
But the same beat
What if we all moved by the same wind?
Some rustle, some sway
But the same wind
Some leaves, some grass
But the same wind
What if we all lived by the same source?
Both water and bread
But the same source
Only way, only satisfaction
Same source of life
Different paces, different paths
But the same beat
Different voices, different songs
But the same beat
What if we all moved by the same wind?
Some rustle, some sway
But the same wind
Some leaves, some grass
But the same wind
What if we all lived by the same source?
Both water and bread
But the same source
Only way, only satisfaction
Same source of life
Honor your parents
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— Eph 6:1-2
I was reminded last night to honor my parents and than this verse came to me in an email. My parents pretty much are paying for my college right now, everything. I thank them and than seem to forget about the gift. Every class one skips costs money, not mine but my parents. By not going to class it's like I'm not honoring my parents. I've been praying for a desire to learn and to go to class. This is somewhat of an answer because I want to honor my parents.
I was reminded last night to honor my parents and than this verse came to me in an email. My parents pretty much are paying for my college right now, everything. I thank them and than seem to forget about the gift. Every class one skips costs money, not mine but my parents. By not going to class it's like I'm not honoring my parents. I've been praying for a desire to learn and to go to class. This is somewhat of an answer because I want to honor my parents.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Pains
Watching 2 sisters last night suffering with pains not completely known, my heart ached. Ached for them to get better and be relieved of their pain. I wanted to take their pain, I wanted to carry their burden because I didn't want them to suffer. I wanted to do what Galatians 6 tells us "Carry each other's burdens" But I'm confident that this isn't what God meant. I don't know what God means in Galatians that is something else to pray about. I do know that Christ died for all(1Peter3:18) and I know he endured for us(Hebrews12:3) and I know he suffered and I know that God gave up his one and only son for us(John 3:16). I'm not called to take my friends pains. I also know that I wouldn't be able to take them for am too weak myself. I already complain in my own heart about my pains, I already limp because of pains, I already ditch out on classes because of my own pains but do I even know pain. Christ knew, knows pain because he endured all pains. He endured what I should have, what I know I couldn't. I think of the Waiting song "beautiful blood" "to carry a debt that I never could". Oh praise him, that we don't have to endure such pains and that the pains that we do endure are for his name and that we will never be separated from him (Romans 8)
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Blessed be Your Name
I woke up with this praise song on my lips or at least in my mind, I didn't want to wake up my roommate! "Blessed be Your Name" for me gets me in the mind set, reminds me of all the blessings that he does pour out on to us, most of them I don't notice.
Yesterday was one of those long days that maybe wasn't the best day and so I ended it with a prayer that I believed would come true because his faithful. I prayed that he would give me the strength to get out of bed and have a quiet time before I did anything else(something that has yet to happen this semester). I also prayed that I would not get discouraged today, among other prayers too.
Like every other night I fell asleep normally. I woke up in frustration because when I looked at my clock "6:58" in my head I thought it said "7:58" which meant that I slept through my alarm, missed my quiet time and was going to be really late to work. God instantly showed me that the clock actually said "6:58". I also discovered that I had set my clock not to 7AM but to 7PM, oops! But Praise be to God, who answered my prayer not only to give me strength to get out of bed but also to wake me up and also encourage me to get out because he was faithful. Sometimes one has to be reminded of the characteristics of God, like he is faithful. "Blessed be your name" ran through my head.
But the story doesn't stop there. I got ready to go and left the room only to realize that I didn't have my keys, which meant no breakfast and no way to get to work. Down to the office I went only to realize God blessed me in another way. I'm a desk worker which means I don't have to check out a pass key, which saved time. To my room another blessing I found my keys in an instant, in a place I wouldn't have checked if God hadn't guided me to the spot. I left my room and proceeded to return the keys only to realize I had lost the room key. I always use to wonder how somebody could lose a key between their room and the office. Back and forth down the hall and to my room I went looking every where. But I never stressed thanks be to God especially because I've been getting really stressed out lately. I finally found my key on the ground in the hall.
Not a normal way to start one's day but I'm very thankful that it did start this way. The great thing is that the story is not over because every moment God is blessing us in somehow and so even though this all happened 2 hours ago I have already received more blessings than I can count.
"Blessed be Your name!"
Yesterday was one of those long days that maybe wasn't the best day and so I ended it with a prayer that I believed would come true because his faithful. I prayed that he would give me the strength to get out of bed and have a quiet time before I did anything else(something that has yet to happen this semester). I also prayed that I would not get discouraged today, among other prayers too.
Like every other night I fell asleep normally. I woke up in frustration because when I looked at my clock "6:58" in my head I thought it said "7:58" which meant that I slept through my alarm, missed my quiet time and was going to be really late to work. God instantly showed me that the clock actually said "6:58". I also discovered that I had set my clock not to 7AM but to 7PM, oops! But Praise be to God, who answered my prayer not only to give me strength to get out of bed but also to wake me up and also encourage me to get out because he was faithful. Sometimes one has to be reminded of the characteristics of God, like he is faithful. "Blessed be your name" ran through my head.
But the story doesn't stop there. I got ready to go and left the room only to realize that I didn't have my keys, which meant no breakfast and no way to get to work. Down to the office I went only to realize God blessed me in another way. I'm a desk worker which means I don't have to check out a pass key, which saved time. To my room another blessing I found my keys in an instant, in a place I wouldn't have checked if God hadn't guided me to the spot. I left my room and proceeded to return the keys only to realize I had lost the room key. I always use to wonder how somebody could lose a key between their room and the office. Back and forth down the hall and to my room I went looking every where. But I never stressed thanks be to God especially because I've been getting really stressed out lately. I finally found my key on the ground in the hall.
Not a normal way to start one's day but I'm very thankful that it did start this way. The great thing is that the story is not over because every moment God is blessing us in somehow and so even though this all happened 2 hours ago I have already received more blessings than I can count.
"Blessed be Your name!"
Monday, October 03, 2005
Ladybug companion
Between my ED275 class and Sign Language I enjoy the hour I have to lay in the sun (cause the basement of the ED building gets cold!). Today I finished Joni by Joni Eareckson, a must read. Her story certainly touched my life.
But while sitting in the sun reading the psalms I was blessed with a little ladybug that came and sat on my bracelet. That little blessing is what I needed. Mondays, actually all days of the week, are long and it seems that as soon as I leave Newsom I enter into a world where I am alone. I know God is with me and I know there are believers all around but I remain silent and reserved.
The ladybug was a blessing and in some way it was God's way of encouraging me that moment to go to class, trusting God that every class I take is to glorify him. Today and everyday I live and work for the Lord.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Col 3:23
But while sitting in the sun reading the psalms I was blessed with a little ladybug that came and sat on my bracelet. That little blessing is what I needed. Mondays, actually all days of the week, are long and it seems that as soon as I leave Newsom I enter into a world where I am alone. I know God is with me and I know there are believers all around but I remain silent and reserved.
The ladybug was a blessing and in some way it was God's way of encouraging me that moment to go to class, trusting God that every class I take is to glorify him. Today and everyday I live and work for the Lord.
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Col 3:23
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
