my word

read and enjoy what God is teaching me everyday as I strive to be an imiator of him and as I long to live life to the fullest until the day that I will stand...no lie facedown...before my King, my Father. "Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." ~ 1 Peter 1:8

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

How are You?

If you know me you know that this question causes me much unecessary grief. I don't want to lie but yet it seems I never know the answer. It bugs me, Especially these last couple weeks but that is probably because I've been so short with people. Again today I find myself unable to answer this simple daily question. If you didn't know I spend much of my day plaguing over this question because I can't return to the dorms without an answer because I feel unapproved. Unneccessary stress!

Today I really desire to know, maybe it's my emotions or something but I find myself unable to pin point where I am. It's not so much where I am emotional, it's the where am I spiritual. Maybe I'm not meant to be able to answer this question. Just have faith that all is well? I want to say joy and I'm sure I experienced at least an ounce, at least that minute to class watching the sun rays break through the clouds. But yet I'm also sure that the hour in class my heart was burdened and joy was not there, just an ache. Often I find myself in a state of complete emptiness.

Maybe I'm learning what it means to constantly pray, constantly pray that God fills me with the Spirit. Not just a prayer in the morning but every minute here I need to remind myself of who my king is, remind myself why I'm here, remind myself to love others as he loves me. One verse "pray continually" - 1 Thess. 5:17 I've never looked at it seperately. But it is just one verse, one concept that I'm seeking understanding in and we all should.

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