I hate it when my ownself erks me. I hate it when it's clearly all my fault. I hate it when I sin, when I'm disobedient and when I'm complacent. I hate that all I can do is cry out to God, asking why do I do it? No condemnation just peace. But again I'm not perfect. My intial reaction to failure is condemnation. That is why I ask to be filled with the Spirit so that I don't mess up to begin with and secondly so that if I do I will be filled with peace.
Walking to class yesterday (answer to pray, I went to every class despite the MANY temptations, Praise God) I was reading the Collegian to see what these reporters consider important news. The first article was about that house church group that sets up a table on the plaza. It's amazing how much talk there is about God and Christianity, it makes my heart beat faster. The second article was about Harvey Milk Day. I knew this article would come because I was quoted after an enjoying half hour long conversation with Andy. I learned alot yesterday. I read the article and reaching my quote something in me turned over(not the eggs I had for breakfast but my Spirit)
I'll quote myself again, "I don't know what it's like to be discriminated against." How could I say that, better yet why is it true?
Luke 21:17 All men will hate you because of me.
John 7:7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify that what it does is evil.
Matthew 10:22 All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Mark 13:13 All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.
Luke 6:22 Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.
Matthew 24:9 Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me.
I should be discriminated against. discrimination is treatment based on one's class. I am a citizen of Heaven, I am a follower of Jesus. What about the scriptures? Why don't I face discrimination everyday because I'm a Christian? Why am I not persecuted here? seriously! I won't except that it is hard to be a Christian in America, it only is because we aren't being real Christians, we are complacent. I am a sleep and I want to be awoken! I want to be on fire for Christ. I wanted be like those Jesus speaks of, handed over to be persecuted and put to death...because of him. I'm not asking to be persecuted just for the sake of persecution but because I want to glorify God. I want my faith and obedience to be so strong that the world hates me, trully can't stand me and my odor.
14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? 17Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God. - 2 Corinthians 2:14-17
Like men sent from God, I want those around me to know that I follow Chirst, I want my presense to shake people. I want to be a fork in the road. Either people run to God or run from God because of my testimony!
My prayer: God I pray for the opportunity to die to myself today, the opportunity to chose you above this world. I pray for my day as I am going and coming, you are watching over all my actions and you will never forsake me, thank you. But God I want to be used by you, I want to be exausted for you at the end of the day. God I pray for guidance and for the increase of faith. I desire not to just speak of persecution but to experience it as well.
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