Never felt so broken

Friday if you saw me past 5 , was the hardest point. Like Megan said on the hike yesterday "Just imagine how great the reward will be at the end, if the last part wasn't the steepest it wouldn't be as rewarding" That thought reminded me of my broken self Friday night. Friday was such a weary day, with all the packing and not to mention everyone was slowly leaving. I felt like my world was crumbling down. The past week I was drifting from God and so even though we are promised that he is always there I felt too far and so as my world was falling I was falling too. I just wanted a sturdy rock to stand on. Because on top of this all I was having doubts on whether to go to Seattle. Back and forth I went. I just wanted the ground to stop shaking. I finshed with the room and checked out but still I was not at peace. As tears flooded my face I was comforted by many but that resulted in just more tears because I was going to be far from them, shortly. The tears stopped about half an hour before the Rock but once the worship songs started I was back in tears. I don't remember all the songs but they all spoke to me, I found myself praying to God for comfort. I was then reminded of the prayer I made that morning that like the song says "not from pain, sorrow or care, freedom dare I claim" So there I was in the deepest sorrow I have had, But finally finding Joy and peace with God. Like a loving sister reminded me of "May the God ofhope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" - Romans 15:13. After crashing at a friends house, falling asleep to a chic flick and waking up after a wonderful sleep, My tired eyes were still a little sore but I was joyful. Even though I didn't go to Seattle God was not disappointed with me, I was joyful.

Now I'm at Michele's house. Helping her clean up for a Graduation Party for her brothers and going on hikes and runs. And since I won't ever be free from pain until Heaven, I sit here with a sore butt, quads and of course my aching heals but I'm thankful.