God be the center

Whenever I go into a store, coffee shop, somebody's house and pretty much any where I find myself envisioning destruction. I see fire engulf items, I see things floating in ten feet high flood waters, I see people left with only the clothes on their back, I see everything destroyed. I can't help it, Going to New Orleans awoke me to the matrialism of this world, of those around me and of my very self. And just like those I met in New Orleans they continue to collect those burnable items, those worldly idols that prevent us from standing before our God with confidence. The whole concept of "It won't happen to me" and "it won't happen again" There is no fear in any of us. I have no fear! I envision destruction all around me but yet I have no fear. I read verses telling me to sell all I have, give up all of me, give up my life, etc. I read about missionaries who God used to do amazing things and all the sacrifices they made and yet they said "I made no sacrifice". I recall my summer and which I lived in a run down B and B, endured the daily hot and humid weather, had to share a room and a bed, eat with plastic siverware, walked to work, had only enough clothes to last me a week and a half, I was rarely allowed to go off by myself, worked until my arms ached, ate the same thing every week and so on. THe kicker is I miss that life I miss how in sense it was easy to trust God because it was your only option. I had to find joy in him because there wasn't much that my flesh found fun, I had to find love in him so I could stand living with that many people for 10 weeks, I had to find contentment in him because my flesh was never going to find it. I had to trust in him, but now I'm back..."cultural shock" some might say..yeah! Because like that believer from China said about America we can get by without God...in a sense it is harder to trust God when at home I can eat all I want, I can sleep in my own room, I can watch whatever I want on tv or whatever movie, I can go shopping and get any clothes I want, I can just turn up AC when I get hot, I can sit on my bum all day, I can do and go anywhere I want without God! That is scary! The temptations are so close and the devil is trying hard to bring us along in life not realizing until we get to the moment before God when he judges all we have done and all we have to bring to him is a closet full of clothes, a fast red sports car, a fridge of tasty delights, a bank account full of numbers and a heart of stone.

You read this and your bones shake but then what, you listen to the revival hymn finding your breath quicken then what, you see the world and the lost in the eyes of God then what, you stop your sinning for 30 minutes or maybe a couple hours and then forget how your heart ached for what God's heart aches for then what? Then what? God I pray that our hearts change, that you move in us for only you God can mold my heart.