"Who am I"

I was born on April 1st, 1986 and yes that is April fool’s Day, which is part of me because on this day people make extra effort to laugh and to make others laugh. This is a goal of mine, well maybe not a goal but it just kind of happens. Maybe because I try to embrace life, enjoy life! When you enjoy life you can’t help but smile and can’t help but not care what others think. That is why I’m often found in funny situations, like when cleaning my room or whenever I do any kind of clean up I always end up wearing what I find. If it just be a big hat, belt and cape so be it or maybe it is Mardi Gras decorations, or maybe crepe paper, or whatever, I try to have fun in times that often we don’t, like cleaning or waiting in line or before class or walking somewhere or hanging out with friends. I’m the girl that is often found dancing in the rain, singing in the shower, skipping to class, chasing squirrels, laughing in the Cafeteria when she is found shouting out “Abra – Ham” while holding up a piece of ham, and so the laughter goes on. But it isn’t all about laughing for laughter is too much of an attention getter and that is why I really like to smile even more. Smiling at people everywhere and attempting to have a moment with a random stranger as we smile at each other. Changing a person’s frown to a smile or even just a grin makes me smile more. It isn’t about me it is about the smile and the joy of life, if it be me or somebody else or both, that is what I love. I love children when they are just glowing with that innocent smile, they love life. I love seeing older couples smiling at each other because you know, that smile isn’t fake, that smile comes from hardship and struggles and a genuine love of life together! That leads me to the other part of me the hearty and more deep part, I too have gone through hard times. Those times when you just can’t smile for real and you just don’t have to. The times when all I can do is cry myself to sleep, the times when even the love of a dog when it licks my hand doesn’t lift my heart, these are the times when I think I really grow as an individual. I have to chose to lift my head, seek help in whatever form it maybe (doctors, therapy, medication or the hug of a friend) and see the hope. Joy! Not instantly but from every struggle and trial comes joy, not to be confused with the word “happy” because from my point of view Joy doesn’t mean laughter and smiles, it means embracing life, being thankful. Every second here is a gift of grace from God.

I was born again September 24, 2004. That day my “Who am I” story changed. My identity is now in Him. I am a daughter of God, I’m promised an eternal life with my creator, savior, king and father. I’m promised a life that will never be apart from his love, even during the hard times. I’m promised purpose in life because he has a good plan for me. I’m promised an ever-present helper and the list goes on. My passions are even deeper and my enjoyments in life are more satisfying because I enjoy them with Him. I love running even more because I can pray and talk to him every time and in the mornings I can look at His sunrises. I love the outdoors everything from wind and rain to the grass and trees to the eagle and the grasshopper. I love just going for hikes and bike rides or just sit out and look at the clouds and rustle of the leaves by day and the stars and moon by night. Before I go to bed ever since I was a little girl I would just stare out my window it has always been calming and a comfort as though somebody is watching over me and now I know it to be true. I love movies with friends that make you cry and/or laugh hysterically. I love music that makes me dance or calms me to a peace that leaves me reflecting upon my king. I love hugs from a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. I love driving to the airport to drop off/pick up a friend. I love to look into people’s eyes especially when they are sharing a passion because you can see the joy in their eyes. I love road trips with friends across the country; the past 2 years I have gone to Iowa City twice, New Mexico, Missouri and Louisiana twice. I love bugs and am excited to take entomology in the spring. I am currently colleting playing cards one card at a time until I have a full 52 card deck of random cards and random stories of where they were found. My middle toe is longer than all the rest which always reminds me that I am an unique individual so embrace it. We are all different and that is beautiful. We are all a story that should be read but right now we are writing it…