Walk by Faith and Trust me!

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship - Romans 12:1

Sitting in Matrices class today I knew I had planned to meet with Lesley to share the gospel but I kept thinking of excuses to not go. There was a lot on my mind, my heart wasn't on the lost, I was getting a stomach ache and I just wanted to take a nap but I still made my way to meet her after class. She read me Romans 12. A living sacrifice. God, You want me to sacrifice my time for you. Okay fine, lets walk by faith. After praying and reading 2 Tim 1:7-9 I was ready to go.

At the beginning of the day I knew today wasn't going to be a normal Tuesday, God was going to do something big today.

Entering the plaza we just stood in the middle and closed our eyes hoping for a tug. Testing my faith. About a minute later I hear "Abra". It's Sam Mast. So the three of us chatted. He explained how he didn't understand what he was study, didn't understand how there can be such finite numbers for something we can barely see. We are taught to accept some truths by faith. That's the same with Christianity, walk by faith. We asked him where we should go and he told us the engineering building. I confess I didn't want to go because I was so set on the small area of the plaza and I believed for some reason nobody in the engineering building would be free to listen to us. "Trust me, walk by faith" God said in my ear and so we changed direction and found ourselves talking to a girl. Invited her to church, gave her a bible and prayed she would come to know Jesus as more than just a man.

After praying Lesley suggested the oval and that the next person we talked to we would ask them where to go next, like a scavenger hunt. Upon approaching the oval there appeared to only be surveyors but God shined a light on a figure way up a head. We got closer and discovered it was a young man with bible open and praying. But He came up from his prayer and we shared what we were up to. Joseph was his name. He told us his story of leaving school and going to the house of prayer and than found himself called to come to Colorado and here he was checking out the campus. He eagerly joined us for the next couple hours. 2 conversations later, much time in prayer and listening to what the Lord has been teaching him I had to leave for class. I wanted to share this story with you all because I learned a lot about faith today. And by walking in faith God blessed me with this encouraging brother that might even join us for small group on Thursday.

Looking back I almost chose to take a nap rather than watch God work in amazing ways.

Oh and have you read the Colligian today? There is an article that explains how there can only be one right religion. If you read the opinion section there is often a article that shares truth, really! Praise God that these articles are being printed.

Give it your all or not at all

When presented with the idea to raise money to provide help for the needy, I feel like I have one of two options. Either Give all or not at all. If I'm going to give $20 why not $100 or even more. Kashmir needs help, they need tents and blankets and supplies and love. I'm told this and than find myself contemlating what do I do. What does God want me to do. Give up what is not important in my life, or are those blessings that I should be thankful for. We are to be content at all times. But I'm not content. Not content to give a little while I live in a life of luxury but I also won't be content if I don't obey God. What does God want? Pray Pray Pray

Missions!

There is something about the word that both excites me and terrifies me. The thrill of traveling and sharing the gospel in a new place. But yet the fear that I'll be persecuted or unprepared. Cast all your anxieties on him. As Jesus looked at the Joy set before him, let us look at the joy set before us! Doing God's will that is our mission. Here is some news that hit me, we are already on the mission field! Called to share his word, keep his praise on our lips, walk in his light, train ourselves in his word, pray always and trust him entirely.

"Missions in other countries aren't for me, that is for somebody else to do, but that's okay because I'll pray for them" These words are my own, If I was asked why I don't want to go to another country for mission work this would have been my answer.

1. How do I know it's not for me?
2. Who is this somebody else? If everybody said this than who would actually go
3. How much do I really pray for other mission trips? really? Don't I often pray for myself, than friends and family, and than whatever big event is happening, and than ... How often do I pray for the world? And when I do, how often are they small prayers and mostly only when something big happens? If I'm going to use pray as an excuse than I need to really pray.

Here is a thought that struck me last night. What if we switiched everything, flipped it all around. What if we saw the states as just another country! Imagine if you were in Pakistan right now, or wherever. Imagine you lived there all your life and somebody asked you to go on a mission trip to the US. Would you go? and if so why? Is it the worldly luxuries, the comforts, the lack of persecution, the chance to live a "good" christian life and not to be living day by day trusting God for every need.

"Some do have to stay in the US" Okay. But what makes you think that is where God wants you? Rather than waiting for the call to go on a mission trip how about we wait on a call to stay. If God wants you to stay than he'll stop you from going. For me I'm planning to go. I don't know yet where but out of here.

Here is another thought. America has heard the gospel. Wouldn't it be a big testimony if we left to go on a mission trip, leaving behind the comforts of the states. Trully living for God that is my desire.

The end of my ramblings, But if you really want to know what God has in store for your life ask him and read his word.

This verse grabbed me:
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15

Lost in a sea of faces

Walking through the plaza on my way to class this song played on the radio. It clicked with the feeling that I was experiencing that moment in time. I have felt feelings of not fitting in before, all of my life actually. One reason to leave Idaho was to start over hoping that I would fit in some where. Well I still don't fit in but this time for a better reason, because I don't belong in this world. As I sit in class I realize how temporarily my time on earth is, it makes it hard to go to class cause I just want to live and explore what the Lord has made. I than walk through the plaza passing many that I don't know and don't know me. The strange feeling that everybody else knows something I don't or are being guided by something different than me. Like a leaf falling off a tree I wonder if they would even notice my frail body lying under their feet. But I'm not a leaf that gets torn up by this world, withered by time. I'm that leaf that caused me to bend down and grab a hold of. God chose me out of a million faces. Jesus died just so that I wouldn't be lost in the sea of faces, in the piles of leaves. Praise his Name!

"Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise - the fruit of lips that confess his name." - Hebrews 13:15
"Sea Of Faces" - Kutless

I see the city lights all around me
Everyone's obscure
Ten million people each with their problems
Why should anyone care

And in Your eyes I can see
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Sometimes my life it feels so trivial
Immersed in the greatness of space
Yet somehow you still find the time for me
It's then You show me Your love

And In Your eyes I can see
And in Your arms I will be
I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

If only my one heart
Was all you'd gain from all it cost
Well I know you would have still been a man
With a reason
To willingly offer your life

I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world
Lost in a Sea of Faces
Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because you traded Your life for mine

Just one in a million faces

***A gift for those who read to the bottom***
I also learned the sign for respect and the sign for honor and the sign for hero. All look up to the skies, to the heavens, to my God. Whom I desire to respect and honor and always look to as my hero. "A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life" Is not Jesus the best example of a hero?

With a Song I Greeted the Day

I awoke this morning with this song on my lips and there it stayed through the day. God will be with me through all times and I will never be separated from him. He is my heart's desire and he is above all else.

"As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

Chorus
You alone are my strength, my shield
To you alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

You're my friend and you are my brother
Even though you are a king
I love you more than any other
So much more than anything
Chorus

I want you more than gold or silver
Only you can satisfy
You alone are the real joy giver
And the apple of my eye
Chorus"

What if?

What if we all walked by the same beat?
Different paces, different paths
But the same beat
Different voices, different songs
But the same beat

What if we all moved by the same wind?
Some rustle, some sway
But the same wind
Some leaves, some grass
But the same wind

What if we all lived by the same source?
Both water and bread
But the same source
Only way, only satisfaction
Same source of life

Honor your parents

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— Eph 6:1-2

I was reminded last night to honor my parents and than this verse came to me in an email. My parents pretty much are paying for my college right now, everything. I thank them and than seem to forget about the gift. Every class one skips costs money, not mine but my parents. By not going to class it's like I'm not honoring my parents. I've been praying for a desire to learn and to go to class. This is somewhat of an answer because I want to honor my parents.

Pains

Watching 2 sisters last night suffering with pains not completely known, my heart ached. Ached for them to get better and be relieved of their pain. I wanted to take their pain, I wanted to carry their burden because I didn't want them to suffer. I wanted to do what Galatians 6 tells us "Carry each other's burdens" But I'm confident that this isn't what God meant. I don't know what God means in Galatians that is something else to pray about. I do know that Christ died for all(1Peter3:18) and I know he endured for us(Hebrews12:3) and I know he suffered and I know that God gave up his one and only son for us(John 3:16). I'm not called to take my friends pains. I also know that I wouldn't be able to take them for am too weak myself. I already complain in my own heart about my pains, I already limp because of pains, I already ditch out on classes because of my own pains but do I even know pain. Christ knew, knows pain because he endured all pains. He endured what I should have, what I know I couldn't. I think of the Waiting song "beautiful blood" "to carry a debt that I never could". Oh praise him, that we don't have to endure such pains and that the pains that we do endure are for his name and that we will never be separated from him (Romans 8)

Blessed be Your Name

I woke up with this praise song on my lips or at least in my mind, I didn't want to wake up my roommate! "Blessed be Your Name" for me gets me in the mind set, reminds me of all the blessings that he does pour out on to us, most of them I don't notice.

Yesterday was one of those long days that maybe wasn't the best day and so I ended it with a prayer that I believed would come true because his faithful. I prayed that he would give me the strength to get out of bed and have a quiet time before I did anything else(something that has yet to happen this semester). I also prayed that I would not get discouraged today, among other prayers too.

Like every other night I fell asleep normally. I woke up in frustration because when I looked at my clock "6:58" in my head I thought it said "7:58" which meant that I slept through my alarm, missed my quiet time and was going to be really late to work. God instantly showed me that the clock actually said "6:58". I also discovered that I had set my clock not to 7AM but to 7PM, oops! But Praise be to God, who answered my prayer not only to give me strength to get out of bed but also to wake me up and also encourage me to get out because he was faithful. Sometimes one has to be reminded of the characteristics of God, like he is faithful. "Blessed be your name" ran through my head.

But the story doesn't stop there. I got ready to go and left the room only to realize that I didn't have my keys, which meant no breakfast and no way to get to work. Down to the office I went only to realize God blessed me in another way. I'm a desk worker which means I don't have to check out a pass key, which saved time. To my room another blessing I found my keys in an instant, in a place I wouldn't have checked if God hadn't guided me to the spot. I left my room and proceeded to return the keys only to realize I had lost the room key. I always use to wonder how somebody could lose a key between their room and the office. Back and forth down the hall and to my room I went looking every where. But I never stressed thanks be to God especially because I've been getting really stressed out lately. I finally found my key on the ground in the hall.

Not a normal way to start one's day but I'm very thankful that it did start this way. The great thing is that the story is not over because every moment God is blessing us in somehow and so even though this all happened 2 hours ago I have already received more blessings than I can count.

"Blessed be Your name!"

Ladybug companion

Between my ED275 class and Sign Language I enjoy the hour I have to lay in the sun (cause the basement of the ED building gets cold!). Today I finished Joni by Joni Eareckson, a must read. Her story certainly touched my life.

But while sitting in the sun reading the psalms I was blessed with a little ladybug that came and sat on my bracelet. That little blessing is what I needed. Mondays, actually all days of the week, are long and it seems that as soon as I leave Newsom I enter into a world where I am alone. I know God is with me and I know there are believers all around but I remain silent and reserved.

The ladybug was a blessing and in some way it was God's way of encouraging me that moment to go to class, trusting God that every class I take is to glorify him. Today and everyday I live and work for the Lord.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. - Col 3:23

Cold World

Maybe it was because my bones still ached with cold from my morning walk to class or maybe I was just faced with the truth today. This world is a dark, damp and cold place to live. When it is warm it is only an inlusion that this world isn't as bad as it is. But the clouds will cover the sun and then the truth will be revealed. Hatred all around, jealousy as green as the grass that I lay upon, and standards that the most elite will never achieve. They try to convince you that they approve with their fake smiles and yellow stars covering the truth. Deep down they disapprove and expect so much more, expect perfect. I'm sick of trying to polish my silver for their acceptance ,only to watch them shake their heads because the reflection back is not what they want to see. But I am not them, I am from another world. I stand out like the yellow leaves in the trees. Not the same as the rest but that is fine with me because what they see as weaknesses God sees as strengths. For some one who has MANY weaknesses that makes me want to shout with Joy because I can see why I should boast for the LORD.

"The bows of the warriors are broken, but those who stumbled are armed with strength" - 1 Samuel 2:4

"The ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. 'I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mortal men, the sons of men, who are but grass, that you forget the LORD your Maker, who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth.'" - Isaiah 51:11-13b

Do you hear, do you see, do you understand if not at least stand in faith with me and others for we are the ones armed with strength, true strength that comes from God. We are on the victorious side. Join brothers and sisters, the LORD is our King!

Walk by faith

for we walk by faith, not by sight. - 1 Cor 5:7
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him - Col 2:6

"But the life of faith consists in holding within us that which Christ hath put into us, so that Jesus Christ is formed in us the hope of glory. By faith it comes in; by faith it is kept in; faith gives me what I have; keeps what I have; faith makes it mine; faith keeps it mine; faith gets hold of it with one hand, and then clasps it with both hands with a grasp that neither death nor life can loose." CH Spurgeon "Life and Walk of Faith" www.biblebb.com/files/spurgeon/0483.htm (read the sermon yourself)

WE are commanded by God to walk by faith. But what does that mean? I don't fully understand but God has blessed my small search this day. It has been revealed to me that a large part of my semester I have been trying to walk by sight, trusting my feelings. But all my feelings did for me was to send me on a rollercoaster ride with no means of peace and causing me to doubt the many promises given to me. But now looking back to the most joyful times of my walk, when I was walking by faith, when I was trusting completely in him. I try to convince myself that I don't need to smile and that the joy I once had was just a moment of a "spiritual high". Be joyful always - 1 Thes. 5:16 But God commands us to be joyful always. And from a walk of faith comes Joy! This all brings me to a question that was posed by a brother of mine. "How do you exercise your faith?" The answer walk in him.

"Walk implies, first of all, action. Do not let your reception of Christ be a mere thing of thought to you, a subject only for your chamber and your closet, but act upon it all. If you have really received Christ, and are saved, act as if you were saved, with joy, with meekness, with confidence, with faith, with boldness. Walk in him; do not sit down in indolence, but rise and act in him. Walk in him; carry out into practical effect that which you believe." - CH Spurgeon



"We walk by faith, and oh, how sweet
The flowÂ’rs that grow beneath our feet
And fragrance breathe along the way
That leads the soul to endless day.

We walk by faith, but not alone,
Our ShepherdÂ’s tender voice we hear
And feel His hand within our own,
And know that He is always near.

We walk by faith; He wills it so
And marks the path that we should go.
And when, at times, our sky is dim,
He gently draws us close to Him.

We walk by faith divinely blest,
On Him we lean in Him we rest.
The more we trust our ShepherdÂ’s care,
The more His love Â’tis ours to share.

And thus by faith till life shall end
WeÂ’ll walk with Him our dearest Friend.
Till safe we tread the fields of light
Where faith is lost in perfect sight."
- We Walk by Faith, Fanny Crosby (1885)


"Will I believe you when you say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do"
- Walk by Faith, Jeremy Camp

Love your neighbor as yourself

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:36-40

commandment - An authoritative indication to be obeyed

It doesn't just merely suggest we follow these two things; God COMMANDS us to. But yet we hold back from fully doing so, from fully completely 2 commandments. Why is it so hard to follow these edicts? I don't know.

I was caught by the second one the most today. During breakfast and my first class it was all I could think about. "Love your neighbor as yourself" The question comes to mind, how do I love myself?

~ Before making any decisions I think how I profit
~ During all situations I consider myself first
~ before doing anything I consider the pros/cons for myself
~ During the day I think about myself
~ when I read a bible verse I contemplate what it has to do with me
~ I try to surround myself with only people I like
~ If I get bored of a conversation I leave
~ I go to things only if I want to
~ I get frustrated when others aren't on time with my schedule, I think my time is more valuable than anybody else
~ I try to fix myself before helping others
~ I want people to listen to me when I have something to say but won't listen to others when they have something to say
~ I want people to care about my passions but I don't care about others'

I could go on but I would just become more disgusted with myself and I would never get around to a solution. The list above aren't all bad but where your heart that is where the problems occur. When you go about the day is your heart on yourself or on the people God wants your heart to me on. I'm no scholar or even a great mind. But I do desire to follow God's commandments. I can't grasp the solution without God so from here I will just pray. A prayer for you and me, a prayer that God will guide us on how to love one another as ourselves, a prayer to left the veil from our eyes, a prayer to continue to recognize our imperfect selves and a prayer to be filled with the spirit at all times.

God Bless my brothers and sisters
Happy Birthday Eddie and Jen

Sharing Good News!

You know that rumble in your stomach that you get when God is calling you to do something. A rumble that only comes from your flesh fighting back because if you look at the situation it doesn't make sense to get nervous. I mean you're only going to ask somebody a question, your only going to share with somebody something that causes you to get excited. Why do we get so nervous, because your flesh does not want you to do this. If you pray for courage, God will be faithful. You don't know the reason for your "mission" at the time. When God wants to do something amazing with you, that's when your flesh fights the hardest, at least that's my experience. Lets all prayer for courage to complete what Matthew 28:19 says: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit"

Give and Take Away! Thankful either way!

An excerpt from my journal this morning after listening to a speech about how one of my classmates lost her best friend in high school

Maybe just a moving story, but there is a reason that things inside you turn, something about this story touches a part of you. Not quite to tears but that turn of your stomach is there along with a small twitch of the heart. Move on without a small dose of reflection would be a mistake. Sitting here on a cold slab of concrete with the world passing me by all that runs through my mind. 'What would it feel like to lose your best friend?' How much do I appreciate those relationships that surround me. I've never had a best friend but I do have many that are always there to catch a tear, give a warm embrace when I feel so cold, share my joy with and worship together. Where would I be without fellowship? I think of the thoughts I had last night, thinking that my presense isn't worth much but it is, just like the presense of every soul around me is worth so much. To lose one would be a tragedy but do I show this, do I love those around me with all of my heart? Do they feel my embrace outside and inside? Will I recognize their worth once they are gone or will I see it now? Cherish every relationship, every moment for the blessing it is. Will these just be empty words on a page or are these things written on my heart? Our time here is fleeting and so are the relationships that overwhelm me now. Each one a blessing that I don't deserve and without I might lose all hope.

I just want all to know I love you so much and if I could give electronic hugs(that's werid!) I would!

Repeat that!

I must confess, I complain when I don't learn something new during my quiet times. But something Mitch said today was that we don't have consistent quiet times so that we can hear something new but rather that we can hear what we have already heard over and over again. Repeating the truths to us that we have yet to fully understand. "The loudest voice wins" I want that voice to be God and not this world with it's repeated slogans. We come to God consistently so that his truth is what repeats in our head during the day, when we have to make a decision.

"The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God...For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,' made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." - 2 Cor.4:4&6

Should we spend less time praying for what causes us to cry and instead spend more time praying for what causes God to cry?

This convecting question was suggested to me a couple nights ago and it has been on my mind and heart since.

I spend so much time praying for myself, for the things I want, praying for me to be fixed. But something that was said to me in Iowa comes to mind and that is that we have so many broken pieces that we can't focus on fixing all of them before we can help others, before we can do God's work because then we will never get to his work. We have to be fixing while we are serving and loving.

Join in with me in prayer for the lost today, the many lost souls that pass us everyday, that sit by us in class, that eat in the same dining center, that live in our dorms. Pray for the many christians that pass by these lost, pray that all the christians of this school be filled with the spirit and that we all live God focused lives.

Rely on his strength

I love Wednesday nights. Some of us from my d-team go to the church to baby-sit while the parents meet. I don't like the hysteria and lack of authority we have. But I do love the faith these kids have and I do love the simple message Eddie gives. Last night it was about Romans 3:23 "For all have fallen short of the glory of God". To demonstrate he had one of the kids stand a chair and try to jump onto a chair that was all the way across the room. She made it about half way, because that is what it means to fall short. Then he demonstrated how Jesus helps us across to the side with God. The kids helplessly dangled from his shoulders, relying completely on him.

Some simple message for kids? No this is the truth and that is why it hits me deep. I’ve tried many times to jump the gap myself but instead just fall flat on my face. I’ve tried fighting Jesus to do it at least a little on my own. But he wants us to rely completely on him, so aware of our inadequacy that we give up trying our own way. ‘I surrender’

A Plea for Mercy

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.
Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.
Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.
Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.
For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.
- Lamentations 3:22-33

But read on:

Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?
Why should any living man complain
when punished for his sins?
Let us examine our ways and test them,
and let us return to the LORD.
- Lamentations 3:38-40

Joy is gone from our hearts;
our dancing has turned to mourning.
The crown has fallen from our head.
Woe to us, for we have sinned!
Because of this our hearts are faint,
because of these things our eyes grow dim
- Lamentations 5:15-17

Oh I pray, Joy return to my soul

"Joy is unrelated to happiness. It comes from a source beyond time and circumstances and resides in the person and personality of Christ. It is most evident in our powerlessness. It appears when we don't expect it. Joy can endure through the worst adversity but can evaporate with the merest moment of self-reflection." CS Lewis

I find myself questioning that phrase I wrote on Joy's tank, "I will always have joy" Right now my soul seems to me in a dark cave, I once saw light but now I'm just wandering through the dark hoping that a light will flicker on or this cave will turn into just a tunnel but it's hard to see where I'm going without some source of light. I experienced joy at one point today but like fireflies it died away. Your words that once quaked my soul and caused me to scream from the mountain tops now have little affect on me. I read and read but it just causes me to hunger for joy and the fruits of the Spirit more and more. I guess that's a sort of quake but not the same quake that caused me to tell people of your love and caused me to spend hours praying for the lost. Instead all I desire is to be filled with your Spirit and feel your comforting arms around me. Can't I just come home!