If you know me you know that this question causes me much unecessary grief. I don't want to lie but yet it seems I never know the answer. It bugs me, Especially these last couple weeks but that is probably because I've been so short with people. Again today I find myself unable to answer this simple daily question. If you didn't know I spend much of my day plaguing over this question because I can't return to the dorms without an answer because I feel unapproved. Unneccessary stress!
Today I really desire to know, maybe it's my emotions or something but I find myself unable to pin point where I am. It's not so much where I am emotional, it's the where am I spiritual. Maybe I'm not meant to be able to answer this question. Just have faith that all is well? I want to say joy and I'm sure I experienced at least an ounce, at least that minute to class watching the sun rays break through the clouds. But yet I'm also sure that the hour in class my heart was burdened and joy was not there, just an ache. Often I find myself in a state of complete emptiness.
Maybe I'm learning what it means to constantly pray, constantly pray that God fills me with the Spirit. Not just a prayer in the morning but every minute here I need to remind myself of who my king is, remind myself why I'm here, remind myself to love others as he loves me. One verse "pray continually" - 1 Thess. 5:17 I've never looked at it seperately. But it is just one verse, one concept that I'm seeking understanding in and we all should.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Moon Set!!!
Lying in an empty room trying to read in order to distract from my overwhelming homesickness that I've never felt before to this degree. Home sickness for my family, my neighbor girls and ever one I known in Boise. Deep sleep soon found me only to end when I awoke in the high rise couch of room 177 listening to the faint rustle of the wind and the once in while bone chilling screams of Liz receiving peroxide for her injury.
I wandered out in a half sleep matter only to find myself captivated by the moon I saw from the second floor landing. I left my stuff and found myself walking. Once to the parking lot I stopped and listened to the chirping of the crickets and the zoom of the passing cars. The stars where not visible because the over powering light of the street lights dimmed them away. But the moon couldn't be dimmed by any man made light.
My feelings of homesickness transformed into a deeper even more intense homesickness for my real home in heaven. I don't belong in this world but I must stay until God says I'm done. I'm sick of the pain and the meaninglessness of the things around me. The distracting worldly things that cause me to stumble. My wretched self that is so hard to train to be pure. Following you is so hard I just want to rest in you without distractions. Sing songs of praise forever what could be more glorious.
I looked at the moon and just desired to be home but I'm here for a reason. Sitting by a tree with my sister Chelsea we watched something I've never seen the moon set, but it is only 12:30 where is it going? Back to reality, back down to this world where I'm struggling to be guided by the Spirit to even be in the Spirit. The days are so long when joy isn't filling your heart.
Now I'm sitting here in my silent room except for the white noise machine and those annoying cars that pass by so late. Sleep soon. I hope I will find myself waking up in heaven but really I'll probably wake up in this world again.
Thank you for the moon. I pray that tomorrow you will fill me with the Spirit, please!
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." - Lam. 3:22-24
"This is the day the LORD has made let us rejoice and be glad in it" - Psalm 118:24
I wandered out in a half sleep matter only to find myself captivated by the moon I saw from the second floor landing. I left my stuff and found myself walking. Once to the parking lot I stopped and listened to the chirping of the crickets and the zoom of the passing cars. The stars where not visible because the over powering light of the street lights dimmed them away. But the moon couldn't be dimmed by any man made light.
My feelings of homesickness transformed into a deeper even more intense homesickness for my real home in heaven. I don't belong in this world but I must stay until God says I'm done. I'm sick of the pain and the meaninglessness of the things around me. The distracting worldly things that cause me to stumble. My wretched self that is so hard to train to be pure. Following you is so hard I just want to rest in you without distractions. Sing songs of praise forever what could be more glorious.
I looked at the moon and just desired to be home but I'm here for a reason. Sitting by a tree with my sister Chelsea we watched something I've never seen the moon set, but it is only 12:30 where is it going? Back to reality, back down to this world where I'm struggling to be guided by the Spirit to even be in the Spirit. The days are so long when joy isn't filling your heart.
Now I'm sitting here in my silent room except for the white noise machine and those annoying cars that pass by so late. Sleep soon. I hope I will find myself waking up in heaven but really I'll probably wake up in this world again.
Thank you for the moon. I pray that tomorrow you will fill me with the Spirit, please!
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." - Lam. 3:22-24
"This is the day the LORD has made let us rejoice and be glad in it" - Psalm 118:24
Monday, September 12, 2005
What would make your life better?
This question was posed in my education class. A simple "cleaner room" was my response but really I sat there pondering the question much longer.
What would make my life better?
For the past week I have not been in the Spirit. I know the Spirit is within me but I've not been experiencing the fruits of the Spirit. So my answer would be to be filled with the Spirit. To have patience with people, to love people, to have joy, to not be easily tempered. I pray for these things but yet for some unknown reason I find myself in some dark hole. God has a reason for this time in my life. Maybe I'll become more humble, recognize how much I need the Spirit. Endurance with my faith? Whatever may come of this time I only desire that God be glorified.
So what would make your life better?
What would make my life better?
For the past week I have not been in the Spirit. I know the Spirit is within me but I've not been experiencing the fruits of the Spirit. So my answer would be to be filled with the Spirit. To have patience with people, to love people, to have joy, to not be easily tempered. I pray for these things but yet for some unknown reason I find myself in some dark hole. God has a reason for this time in my life. Maybe I'll become more humble, recognize how much I need the Spirit. Endurance with my faith? Whatever may come of this time I only desire that God be glorified.
So what would make your life better?
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Waiting
We are all waiting for something
Or maybe some one
I watch your gaze as you look
Look for that something
Look for that one
Not this
Not me
Something else
Some one else
We are all looking
But when will we find
That something
That some one
When will our eyes stop
When will our search end
Or maybe we have already found
Or have been found
Just blind to see
The mystery of the unseen
Or maybe some one
I watch your gaze as you look
Look for that something
Look for that one
Not this
Not me
Something else
Some one else
We are all looking
But when will we find
That something
That some one
When will our eyes stop
When will our search end
Or maybe we have already found
Or have been found
Just blind to see
The mystery of the unseen
Secret Sorrow
A Poem I found that are the words from my heart
I have a secret sorrow,
A grief deep down inside,
Where large and heavy burdens,
In tiny places hide.
There are no doors nor windows
To meet another's eye,
For no one understands it,
Except my Lord and I.
The times of bitter anguish,
With Him alone I spend,
For in this place of suffering,
He is my only Friend.
I have a secret sorrow,
A grief deep down inside,
Where large and heavy burdens,
In tiny places hide.
There are no doors nor windows
To meet another's eye,
For no one understands it,
Except my Lord and I.
The times of bitter anguish,
With Him alone I spend,
For in this place of suffering,
He is my only Friend.
Psalm 103
Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion.
Prise the LORD, O my soul.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass,he flourishes like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children's children-
with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.
The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.
Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.
Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,you his servants who do his will.
Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion.
Prise the LORD, O my soul.
The Storm
Nothing can seperate me from my God
Clouds may pass between me and him
They may even stay for some time, but God gives me perseverance
May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.
- 2 Thess. 3:5
They may even start to rain on me, but God gives me comfort in his love
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort - 2 Cor. 1:3
The winds might even try to push me off the path, But you guide me
Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. - Psalm 27:11
The fog might try to blind me, but I look to you
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. - 2 Cor. 4:18
Clouds may pass between me and him
They may even stay for some time, but God gives me perseverance
May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance.
- 2 Thess. 3:5
They may even start to rain on me, but God gives me comfort in his love
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort - 2 Cor. 1:3
The winds might even try to push me off the path, But you guide me
Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. - Psalm 27:11
The fog might try to blind me, but I look to you
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. - 2 Cor. 4:18
Sunday, September 04, 2005
The song speaks
"Out Of Control"
Hoobastank
I've done everything as you say
I've followed your rules without question
I thought it would help me see things clearly
But instead of helping me to see
I look around and it's like I'm blinded
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
I don't understand what you want from me
I feel like I'm spinning out of control
Try to focus but everything's twisted
And all along I thought you would be there
(Thought you would be there)
To let me know I'm not alone
But in fact that's exactly what I was
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
All of the things you've said to me
I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Is it a mystery?
Is it a mystery?
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control...
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
All the things you've said to me
And I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Hoobastank
I've done everything as you say
I've followed your rules without question
I thought it would help me see things clearly
But instead of helping me to see
I look around and it's like I'm blinded
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
I don't understand what you want from me
I feel like I'm spinning out of control
Try to focus but everything's twisted
And all along I thought you would be there
(Thought you would be there)
To let me know I'm not alone
But in fact that's exactly what I was
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
All of the things you've said to me
I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Is it a mystery?
Is it a mystery?
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control...
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
Cause I don't know
If I can trust you
All the things you've said to me
And I may never know the answer
To this endless mystery
Where should I go?
What should I do?
I don't understand what you want from me
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
Friday, September 02, 2005
God or Money?
I'm lead to write another entry, not really sure why
But today I came to work and found a wallet hidden by the keyboard. THe owner came by shortly later and I returned it to her. But unfortunatelly $200 was missing, I could do nothing but see the disappointment in her eyes. Minutes later the one who hid it asked me if it was returned, I said yes and she thanked him with a smile.
I thought of the lesson Eddie gave to te kids on Wednesday night. He mentioned that we can't both serve money and God. He also addressed an event that occured earlier that evening when one of the kids stole another kid's quarter. Eddie told them that as we get older it becomes harder to chose God over money and soon your friend will be caring more than a quarter. This girl lost $200, probably stolen by who knows who.
Who do you serve? God or money
But today I came to work and found a wallet hidden by the keyboard. THe owner came by shortly later and I returned it to her. But unfortunatelly $200 was missing, I could do nothing but see the disappointment in her eyes. Minutes later the one who hid it asked me if it was returned, I said yes and she thanked him with a smile.
I thought of the lesson Eddie gave to te kids on Wednesday night. He mentioned that we can't both serve money and God. He also addressed an event that occured earlier that evening when one of the kids stole another kid's quarter. Eddie told them that as we get older it becomes harder to chose God over money and soon your friend will be caring more than a quarter. This girl lost $200, probably stolen by who knows who.
Who do you serve? God or money
No rewards come from quitting
All of my life I took pride in the fact that I would never quit. I played even though I was the worse player. Sophmore year of high school I made it on the basketball team but rarely played, one game I only played for 30 secs. But I still went to practice everyday. Volleyball I didn't even make the team but instead I became the manager and again went to every practice. The same story with track I was last but I came to practice everyday. I took pride that I would never quit.
But what does this have to do with anything? Well because I didn't quit amazing things happen, rewards that wouldn't have happened if I did as the world was telling me, "Quit". Basketball I met my future history teacher that was an encouragement for me my senior year to go to CSU, Volleyball I met a coach and math teacher that I now look up to as a role model for my future career as a math teacher/coach, and track led me to a passion that rewarded me in a worldly way but more importantly it is now a passion that God is guiding me in.
What if I had quit my sophmore year where would I be today? At CSU probably not, a math major probably not, following God?
This blog was inspired by watching "Rudy" a movie that makes you want to dream more and to never quit.
I ask you to join with me in dreaming, dreaming big, beyond what we could imagine because God is beyond this world. Even when the world around us tells us to quit we pick up our crosses everyday with joy, joy for our King.
But what does this have to do with anything? Well because I didn't quit amazing things happen, rewards that wouldn't have happened if I did as the world was telling me, "Quit". Basketball I met my future history teacher that was an encouragement for me my senior year to go to CSU, Volleyball I met a coach and math teacher that I now look up to as a role model for my future career as a math teacher/coach, and track led me to a passion that rewarded me in a worldly way but more importantly it is now a passion that God is guiding me in.
What if I had quit my sophmore year where would I be today? At CSU probably not, a math major probably not, following God?
This blog was inspired by watching "Rudy" a movie that makes you want to dream more and to never quit.
I ask you to join with me in dreaming, dreaming big, beyond what we could imagine because God is beyond this world. Even when the world around us tells us to quit we pick up our crosses everyday with joy, joy for our King.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
What Lead to my tears
A poem about sufferings:
I tryed to put my thoughts to words
But I failed, not only myself
But the standards set by this world
Why would this world cause tears?
It doesn't, you do
One not of this world
My pride? maybe
Your flesh? possible
Or my foolishness?
I beat myself for sufferings
Where joy should be found
Only tears in my pillow
Forgive him for his mistakes
Look to the only comforter
And Reflect on the Truths
Now I'm on my knees
Tears for my Holy One
Forgiveness for my own sins
What lead to my tears
"light and momentary troubles" will pass
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain" - Rev. 21:4
I tryed to put my thoughts to words
But I failed, not only myself
But the standards set by this world
Why would this world cause tears?
It doesn't, you do
One not of this world
My pride? maybe
Your flesh? possible
Or my foolishness?
I beat myself for sufferings
Where joy should be found
Only tears in my pillow
Forgive him for his mistakes
Look to the only comforter
And Reflect on the Truths
Now I'm on my knees
Tears for my Holy One
Forgiveness for my own sins
What lead to my tears
"light and momentary troubles" will pass
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain" - Rev. 21:4
Monday, August 29, 2005
Hallelujah
Words that come to mind when I think of God
Selah
( Hebrew: סלה) meaning "pause, reflection", within the context of a prayer or psalms, is similar in purpose to Amen in that it stresses the importance of the preceding passage.
In this way, Selah is thought to infer that one should pause and reflect on what has been said.
Amen
-a declaration of affirmation found in the Hebrew Bible
Praise
- Expression of approval, commendation, or admiration.
- The extolling or exaltation of a deity, ruler, or hero.
Glory
-Great honor, praise, or distinction accorded by common consent; renown.
-Something conferring honor or renown.
-A highly praiseworthy asset: Your wit is your crowning glory.
-Adoration, praise, and thanksgiving offered in worship.
-Majestic beauty and splendor; resplendence: The sun set in a blaze of glory.
-The splendor and bliss of heaven; perfect happiness.
Majesty
-The greatness and dignity of a sovereign.
-The sovereignty and power of God.
-Supreme authority or power: the majesty of the law.
Honor
-High respect, as that shown for special merit;
-Good name; reputation.
-A source or cause of credit: was an honor to the profession.
-Glory or recognition; distinction.
-High rank.
Faithful
-Adhering firmly and devotedly, as to a person, cause, or idea; loyal.
-Having or full of faith.
-Worthy of trust or belief; reliable.
-Consistent with truth or actuality
Awesome
-Inspiring awe
Holy
-Belonging to, derived from, or associated with a divine power; sacred.
-Regarded with or worthy of worship or veneration; revered: a holy book.
-Regarded as deserving special respect or reverence: The pursuit of peace is our holiest quest.
Sacred
-Dedicated to or set apart for the worship of a deity.
-Worthy of religious veneration: the sacred teachings of the Buddha.
-Made or declared holy: sacred bread and wine.
-Worthy of respect; venerable.
Reverence
-A feeling of profound awe and respect and often love; veneration.
-An act showing respect, especially a bow or curtsy.
Venerate
-To regard with respect, reverence, or heartfelt deference
Perfect
-Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.
-Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.
-Thoroughly skilled or talented in a certain field or area; proficient.
-Pure
Good
-Being positive or desirable in nature; not bad or poor
-Having the qualities that are desirable or distinguishing
-Serving the desired purpose or end; suitable
-Not spoiled or ruined: The milk is still good.
-Superior to the average
-Of high quality: good books.
-Worthy of respect; honorable
-Attractive; handsome: good looks.
-Beneficial to health
-Competent; skilled
-Complete; thorough
-Reliable; sure
-Valid or true
-Genuine; real
-Ample; substantial: a good income.
-Of moral excellence; upright: a good person.
-Benevolent; kind: a good soul; a good heart.
-Loyal
-Well-behaved; obedient: a good child.
-Socially correct; proper: good manners.
All these words are great but they are words of this world. How can you describe something that is above, bigger, greater, beyond, more awesome than this world. When God works in your life how do you explain to those around you, you can't and shouldn't try because if he wants them to know/understand he will reveal to them, until then, praise him
"But it's when you hold me
That I start unfolding
And all I can say is
Hallelujah, hallelujah" - Bethany Dillon
Hallelujah
-Used to express praise or joy.
-"Praise the Lord"
Selah
( Hebrew: סלה) meaning "pause, reflection", within the context of a prayer or psalms, is similar in purpose to Amen in that it stresses the importance of the preceding passage.
In this way, Selah is thought to infer that one should pause and reflect on what has been said.
Amen
-a declaration of affirmation found in the Hebrew Bible
Praise
- Expression of approval, commendation, or admiration.
- The extolling or exaltation of a deity, ruler, or hero.
Glory
-Great honor, praise, or distinction accorded by common consent; renown.
-Something conferring honor or renown.
-A highly praiseworthy asset: Your wit is your crowning glory.
-Adoration, praise, and thanksgiving offered in worship.
-Majestic beauty and splendor; resplendence: The sun set in a blaze of glory.
-The splendor and bliss of heaven; perfect happiness.
Majesty
-The greatness and dignity of a sovereign.
-The sovereignty and power of God.
-Supreme authority or power: the majesty of the law.
Honor
-High respect, as that shown for special merit;
-Good name; reputation.
-A source or cause of credit: was an honor to the profession.
-Glory or recognition; distinction.
-High rank.
Faithful
-Adhering firmly and devotedly, as to a person, cause, or idea; loyal.
-Having or full of faith.
-Worthy of trust or belief; reliable.
-Consistent with truth or actuality
Awesome
-Inspiring awe
Holy
-Belonging to, derived from, or associated with a divine power; sacred.
-Regarded with or worthy of worship or veneration; revered: a holy book.
-Regarded as deserving special respect or reverence: The pursuit of peace is our holiest quest.
Sacred
-Dedicated to or set apart for the worship of a deity.
-Worthy of religious veneration: the sacred teachings of the Buddha.
-Made or declared holy: sacred bread and wine.
-Worthy of respect; venerable.
Reverence
-A feeling of profound awe and respect and often love; veneration.
-An act showing respect, especially a bow or curtsy.
Venerate
-To regard with respect, reverence, or heartfelt deference
Perfect
-Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.
-Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.
-Thoroughly skilled or talented in a certain field or area; proficient.
-Pure
Good
-Being positive or desirable in nature; not bad or poor
-Having the qualities that are desirable or distinguishing
-Serving the desired purpose or end; suitable
-Not spoiled or ruined: The milk is still good.
-Superior to the average
-Of high quality: good books.
-Worthy of respect; honorable
-Attractive; handsome: good looks.
-Beneficial to health
-Competent; skilled
-Complete; thorough
-Reliable; sure
-Valid or true
-Genuine; real
-Ample; substantial: a good income.
-Of moral excellence; upright: a good person.
-Benevolent; kind: a good soul; a good heart.
-Loyal
-Well-behaved; obedient: a good child.
-Socially correct; proper: good manners.
All these words are great but they are words of this world. How can you describe something that is above, bigger, greater, beyond, more awesome than this world. When God works in your life how do you explain to those around you, you can't and shouldn't try because if he wants them to know/understand he will reveal to them, until then, praise him
"But it's when you hold me
That I start unfolding
And all I can say is
Hallelujah, hallelujah" - Bethany Dillon
Hallelujah
-Used to express praise or joy.
-"Praise the Lord"
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Wake UP
"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert[f]! You do not know when that time will come. It's like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with his assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.
"Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: 'Watch!' " - Mark 13:32-37
Jesus has given us our jobs/tasks to be completed, don't be caught not doing so. Have any of you worked for somebody and when your doing something that doesn't follow the rules (even if it is just for a moment) you are on extra watch that they don't see you? You don't want to get caught. You know you are doing wrong because your conscience tells you so.
In Christ we have the spirit to tell us when we aren't doing what he wants us to do. We are working for the Lord. You don't want him to catch you not working, right?
Stop and pray and ask yourself if you are working for the Lord. Are you doing what you think he wants you to do or what he wants you to do? Examine who you are working for, somebody else or God?
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, - Matthew 28:19
"Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: 'Watch!' " - Mark 13:32-37
Jesus has given us our jobs/tasks to be completed, don't be caught not doing so. Have any of you worked for somebody and when your doing something that doesn't follow the rules (even if it is just for a moment) you are on extra watch that they don't see you? You don't want to get caught. You know you are doing wrong because your conscience tells you so.
In Christ we have the spirit to tell us when we aren't doing what he wants us to do. We are working for the Lord. You don't want him to catch you not working, right?
Stop and pray and ask yourself if you are working for the Lord. Are you doing what you think he wants you to do or what he wants you to do? Examine who you are working for, somebody else or God?
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, - Matthew 28:19
Saturday, August 20, 2005
My Story _ Testimony
God made every human being on this earth and he has a purpose for every single one. He is constantly working in our lives. We are all a piece of art, we all have a story. So what is my story?
Well I grew up in a household that didn't go to church and we didn't even talk about such things. High school I was dedicated to running and school and nothing else. I had little friends and planned to make new ones in college. I planned to start a new life because the life I was currently living wasn't satisfying.
I went to CSU for their chemical engineering program and to run for them too, because I thought that was the only way I would continue to run, when in fact Colorado is one of the most active states. I flew out by myself and had my stuff shipped later. Some would say that it would be scary to be alone in a new place. For me I have always been okay with being alone.
Entering college I had dreams of making friends, doing well in school, maybe find a boyfriend, and find happiness and purpose in my life. Who would have guessed that God had a bigger/better plan for me.
I instantly clicked with my roomate and within the first week of college she invited me to a number of barbeques through different church organizations. I felt bad because I wasn't Christian and yet I was eatting their food. I considered church groups like clubs and so to me being christian was just a title for members of the church. I wasn't part of the "club", so am I allowed to eat their food?
Another important character that God put in my path was a girl who lived next door to me, Sarah. A sophmore, and me just a freshman. She invited me to these fun things like photo scavenger hunt, trip to walmart, $1 trace bundy concert, and another concert in old town. She was so nice to me, it was unusual for me. I never got invited to anything in high school.
A couple weeks into school, Katie and Eddie (both lived at my dorm) after dinner one night invited me to go to their small group. At the time I was still thrilled to be invited to something and so I agreed to come. Once there I found myself in a position where I didn't know anything (I didn't even know the story of David, they were discusing Psalm 23) but even though I didn't know anything I felt comfortable, I felt like I had found away to make friends. Eddie gave me a bible and I continued to come to small group and the Rock (a college students focused service with contemporary worship music and a message).
I was new to all of it but everybody was so helpful, showing me where things were in the bible and explaining the background to the passages we discussed, actually they discussed. I didn't quite connect with the messages at the Rock. But there was something about these people that attracted me. They always had a smile on their face and they lived life as though they had purpose.(happiness and purpose that was what I was looking for)
Finally one night after the Rock (September 24, 2004 to be precise) I ended up walking back to campus from a park with Sarah and Eddie. It was a beautiful cool night and shortly after we started walking Eddie asked me what i thought about things, about small group/ rock. Earlier during the Rock I wrote a little note to God that I was willing to give this new life a try, I didn't understand but I did know that it might lead to happiness, purpose and friends. So in response to Eddie's questions I told him that I wanted to be Christian and I wanted to know what I had to do to join the "club". He tried explaining somethings and eventially told me I just had to pray. so on a park bench in Remington Gardens between 2 amazing people I accepted Christ.
I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until the next morning. Sarah had told everybody and so the whole day I was been congratulated and I even got notes from people. That is when it hit me that it wasn't just a "club". The next 2 weeks I read the bible and absorbed what others talked about. God also revealed to me sins I had done and my image of myself as a "good" girl was revealed to be a lie. By the time I was babtised on October 8th I had a better understanding of what this all meant.
I don't know really the exact time everything changed but I have changed.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17
The past 11 months have been the best months of my life. There were many hard times and there still are but when you know the truths that Christ died for me, I'm going to live in heaven for eternity, he loves me, he has choosen me, he has a great purpose for my life, and many others that causes my heart to overflow with joy to thing about. I'm his daughter that he thinks is beautiful, I will always have his promises, Christ died for ALL my sins, I'm filled with the Spirit to guide me through life, I'm never alone, I'll always have a friend.
Well I grew up in a household that didn't go to church and we didn't even talk about such things. High school I was dedicated to running and school and nothing else. I had little friends and planned to make new ones in college. I planned to start a new life because the life I was currently living wasn't satisfying.
I went to CSU for their chemical engineering program and to run for them too, because I thought that was the only way I would continue to run, when in fact Colorado is one of the most active states. I flew out by myself and had my stuff shipped later. Some would say that it would be scary to be alone in a new place. For me I have always been okay with being alone.
Entering college I had dreams of making friends, doing well in school, maybe find a boyfriend, and find happiness and purpose in my life. Who would have guessed that God had a bigger/better plan for me.
I instantly clicked with my roomate and within the first week of college she invited me to a number of barbeques through different church organizations. I felt bad because I wasn't Christian and yet I was eatting their food. I considered church groups like clubs and so to me being christian was just a title for members of the church. I wasn't part of the "club", so am I allowed to eat their food?
Another important character that God put in my path was a girl who lived next door to me, Sarah. A sophmore, and me just a freshman. She invited me to these fun things like photo scavenger hunt, trip to walmart, $1 trace bundy concert, and another concert in old town. She was so nice to me, it was unusual for me. I never got invited to anything in high school.
A couple weeks into school, Katie and Eddie (both lived at my dorm) after dinner one night invited me to go to their small group. At the time I was still thrilled to be invited to something and so I agreed to come. Once there I found myself in a position where I didn't know anything (I didn't even know the story of David, they were discusing Psalm 23) but even though I didn't know anything I felt comfortable, I felt like I had found away to make friends. Eddie gave me a bible and I continued to come to small group and the Rock (a college students focused service with contemporary worship music and a message).
I was new to all of it but everybody was so helpful, showing me where things were in the bible and explaining the background to the passages we discussed, actually they discussed. I didn't quite connect with the messages at the Rock. But there was something about these people that attracted me. They always had a smile on their face and they lived life as though they had purpose.(happiness and purpose that was what I was looking for)
Finally one night after the Rock (September 24, 2004 to be precise) I ended up walking back to campus from a park with Sarah and Eddie. It was a beautiful cool night and shortly after we started walking Eddie asked me what i thought about things, about small group/ rock. Earlier during the Rock I wrote a little note to God that I was willing to give this new life a try, I didn't understand but I did know that it might lead to happiness, purpose and friends. So in response to Eddie's questions I told him that I wanted to be Christian and I wanted to know what I had to do to join the "club". He tried explaining somethings and eventially told me I just had to pray. so on a park bench in Remington Gardens between 2 amazing people I accepted Christ.
I didn't realize how big of a deal it was until the next morning. Sarah had told everybody and so the whole day I was been congratulated and I even got notes from people. That is when it hit me that it wasn't just a "club". The next 2 weeks I read the bible and absorbed what others talked about. God also revealed to me sins I had done and my image of myself as a "good" girl was revealed to be a lie. By the time I was babtised on October 8th I had a better understanding of what this all meant.
I don't know really the exact time everything changed but I have changed.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" - 2 Corinthians 5:17
The past 11 months have been the best months of my life. There were many hard times and there still are but when you know the truths that Christ died for me, I'm going to live in heaven for eternity, he loves me, he has choosen me, he has a great purpose for my life, and many others that causes my heart to overflow with joy to thing about. I'm his daughter that he thinks is beautiful, I will always have his promises, Christ died for ALL my sins, I'm filled with the Spirit to guide me through life, I'm never alone, I'll always have a friend.
AWAKE!!!
And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. - Romans 13:11
Our time here on earth is short! Every moment here should not be wasted. WE need to recognize the opportunities before us. Opportunities to share the truth about God and Jesus to all. Matthew 28:19-20 Make disciples!
I confess I've been a sleep. Faith without action. I haven't been giving my all. What am I afraid of? God is at work and we don't know what he is going to do. I can't predict. Just look at what God did or is doing in your life to bring you to him. We all have stories, because God loves us all and that is why he will do whatever he can to bring us to him.
Pray that everyday we can regonize the opportunities he has put before us. Be brave!
Our time here on earth is short! Every moment here should not be wasted. WE need to recognize the opportunities before us. Opportunities to share the truth about God and Jesus to all. Matthew 28:19-20 Make disciples!
I confess I've been a sleep. Faith without action. I haven't been giving my all. What am I afraid of? God is at work and we don't know what he is going to do. I can't predict. Just look at what God did or is doing in your life to bring you to him. We all have stories, because God loves us all and that is why he will do whatever he can to bring us to him.
Pray that everyday we can regonize the opportunities he has put before us. Be brave!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Humble Pie
When I read this on Katie's comment to me. I just started laughing just ask Janet. I don't know why its so funny!
But really, Have you ever started a eating challenge thinking that will be easy. But as you go along it gets harder and harder. This summer Chris and I tried the Capri-sun challenge (15 in 15 mins) easy right, that's what we thought. We were way to cocky! After 5 you started to feel it. We didn't even finish the 15. Giving up at 9 each, our stomachs couldn't take any more.
But anyway, what does that have to do with humility? Well when I first started to follow Christ, that is when I accepted Christ I was told that the Christian life wasn't easy but I didn't believe it. As I started the Christian life, God's challenges were relatively easy, and I took pride in the fact that I was growing so much with out much sweat. But as you dive deeper into God, has you eat more of the pie the harder it gets. Humility comes when you recognize that you can't do this on your own.
But really, Have you ever started a eating challenge thinking that will be easy. But as you go along it gets harder and harder. This summer Chris and I tried the Capri-sun challenge (15 in 15 mins) easy right, that's what we thought. We were way to cocky! After 5 you started to feel it. We didn't even finish the 15. Giving up at 9 each, our stomachs couldn't take any more.
But anyway, what does that have to do with humility? Well when I first started to follow Christ, that is when I accepted Christ I was told that the Christian life wasn't easy but I didn't believe it. As I started the Christian life, God's challenges were relatively easy, and I took pride in the fact that I was growing so much with out much sweat. But as you dive deeper into God, has you eat more of the pie the harder it gets. Humility comes when you recognize that you can't do this on your own.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
God's Plan
I went to summitview for the first time in months. WE had a short message and then a little movie. The movie was about this guy named Craig who fell a 100 Ft! And lived! The story is amazing but what he pointed out was the question. "What does God have to do to get your attention?" For him it was falling. For me it was a simple bruise, that hurt a lot, the size of a giant baked potato( grown in Idaho of course!) and kept me off my feet for 3 weeks.
It happened playing soccer, I got kicked, Sunday night. We packed and left Iowa Tues, packed and left Colorado for Ireland Thurs. Friday night I was told to stay off of my leg until it healed. So I sat. Standing up to get around and to sing hymns. It hurt to walk and even to stand longer than 5 min. That meant that I would stay back at Charleville while everybody went out to share and go door to door. I stayed back and sort things, stuffed tracts, helped in the kitchen, folded napkins and did what every job they gave me. I came to Ireland to share the Gospel, experience mission life and to grow in Christ. These things were accomplished in God's way not mine.
In that time God taught me many things that I knew before but not completely and still not.
- Humility
- Be thankful for everything
- We should be living sacrifices, Romans 12
- Be content Philippians 4:12-13
- Always be joyful 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
- good will come of this Romans 8:28
- I get to suffer for Christ! 1 Peter 4:12-13
- He chooses the weak, and we are the weak 1 Corinthians 1:26-28
- We all have different jobs for God 1 Corinthians 3:7-9
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
- Work for the Lord Colossians 3:23
- Psalm 147:10-11
- There is nothing we can do without God
The biggest thing I realized just now is that God is constantly working in our lives (2 cor. 3:18) to sanctify us! We will never realize how much he has done until when he chooses to reveal. This time in Ireland was a time when he unveiled what he has been doing but only in a small dose. We are growing, we are being sanctified not just when we see it. Praise God.
It happened playing soccer, I got kicked, Sunday night. We packed and left Iowa Tues, packed and left Colorado for Ireland Thurs. Friday night I was told to stay off of my leg until it healed. So I sat. Standing up to get around and to sing hymns. It hurt to walk and even to stand longer than 5 min. That meant that I would stay back at Charleville while everybody went out to share and go door to door. I stayed back and sort things, stuffed tracts, helped in the kitchen, folded napkins and did what every job they gave me. I came to Ireland to share the Gospel, experience mission life and to grow in Christ. These things were accomplished in God's way not mine.
In that time God taught me many things that I knew before but not completely and still not.
- Humility
- Be thankful for everything
- We should be living sacrifices, Romans 12
- Be content Philippians 4:12-13
- Always be joyful 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
- good will come of this Romans 8:28
- I get to suffer for Christ! 1 Peter 4:12-13
- He chooses the weak, and we are the weak 1 Corinthians 1:26-28
- We all have different jobs for God 1 Corinthians 3:7-9
- 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
- Work for the Lord Colossians 3:23
- Psalm 147:10-11
- There is nothing we can do without God
The biggest thing I realized just now is that God is constantly working in our lives (2 cor. 3:18) to sanctify us! We will never realize how much he has done until when he chooses to reveal. This time in Ireland was a time when he unveiled what he has been doing but only in a small dose. We are growing, we are being sanctified not just when we see it. Praise God.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
Today, everyday may it be God's
So at the daycare this song was played on a CD we were all listening to. It stuck with me through the day. Today is a perfect day that God made for me, every moment he ordained for me! I'm exactly where he wants me to be. I'm going to be thankful and recognize his blessings and his truth and his promise of renewing. He rewards those who trust in him, he rewards with the Spirit. Today was joyful because I saw him in it. Nothing is going to change my mind that today is God's and he loves me and will give me just the right amount of strength.
Artist: Hoku Lyrics
Song: Perfect Day Lyrics
Sun's up
A little after twelve
Make breakfast for myself
Leave the work for someone else
People say
They say that it's just a phase
They tell me to act my age,
Well I am
On this perfect day,
Nothing's standing in my way
On this perfect day,
When nothing can go wrong
It's the perfect day,
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
Sun's down
A little after ten
I pick up all my friends
In my Mercedes-Benz
Wake up
Don't tell me it's just a dream
'Cause when I've had enough
You'll hear me say,
Now don't you try to rain on my
Perfect day,
Nothing's standing in my way
On this perfect day,
Nothing can go wrong
It's the perfect day,
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
La la la
La la la,
Oh, oh
I'm in the race
But I've already won
(La la la)
And getting there can
Be half the fun
(La la la)
So don't stop me
Till I'm good and done,
Don't you try to rain on my
Perfect day
It's the perfect day
It's the perfect day
Nothing's gonna bring me down
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
Nothing's standing in my way,
On this perfect day,
Nothing can go wrong
I'm in the race
But I've already won
And getting there can
Be half the fun,
So don't stop me
Till I'm good and done,
Don't you try to rain on my
Perfect, day
On this perfect day
On this perfect day
* Reward at the bottom *
Look for the joy in the day, look for the best parts in people, thank them for sacrifices and acts of love, forgive them for wrongs and enjoy life alongside not far away. today will be a perfect day if i choose it to be.
Artist: Hoku Lyrics
Song: Perfect Day Lyrics
Sun's up
A little after twelve
Make breakfast for myself
Leave the work for someone else
People say
They say that it's just a phase
They tell me to act my age,
Well I am
On this perfect day,
Nothing's standing in my way
On this perfect day,
When nothing can go wrong
It's the perfect day,
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
Sun's down
A little after ten
I pick up all my friends
In my Mercedes-Benz
Wake up
Don't tell me it's just a dream
'Cause when I've had enough
You'll hear me say,
Now don't you try to rain on my
Perfect day,
Nothing's standing in my way
On this perfect day,
Nothing can go wrong
It's the perfect day,
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
La la la
La la la,
Oh, oh
I'm in the race
But I've already won
(La la la)
And getting there can
Be half the fun
(La la la)
So don't stop me
Till I'm good and done,
Don't you try to rain on my
Perfect day
It's the perfect day
It's the perfect day
Nothing's gonna bring me down
I could stay, forever as I am
On this perfect day
Nothing's standing in my way,
On this perfect day,
Nothing can go wrong
I'm in the race
But I've already won
And getting there can
Be half the fun,
So don't stop me
Till I'm good and done,
Don't you try to rain on my
Perfect, day
On this perfect day
On this perfect day
* Reward at the bottom *
Look for the joy in the day, look for the best parts in people, thank them for sacrifices and acts of love, forgive them for wrongs and enjoy life alongside not far away. today will be a perfect day if i choose it to be.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Be a Light
So I have been feeling a little discouraged and the opposite of Joyful. Not where one wants to be. Especially Friday nights when we go to the Ped Mall to share. I felt no Spirit and so for an hour I didn't talk to anybody. Finally with only 20 min before it was time to meet up, I went sharing with Eddie. Had one conversation and then on our way to the Java House to meet up Eddie stopped this guy to "ask a couple questions"
This guy was no ordinary guy, possiblly drunk, but yet not quite. turns out this joyful guy is Christian and a funny guy. I don't know what it was about him but since him I've been so joyful. It was the Spirit that was shining out of him.
I pray that every time we go to talk to some body, the light, the Spirit just flows out of us.
This guy was no ordinary guy, possiblly drunk, but yet not quite. turns out this joyful guy is Christian and a funny guy. I don't know what it was about him but since him I've been so joyful. It was the Spirit that was shining out of him.
I pray that every time we go to talk to some body, the light, the Spirit just flows out of us.
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